A bad case of stage-fright?

I have been in several seminars where the moderator or speaker throws open the floor for questions and there is dead silence. I am pretty sure it is not because the speaker was so clear that there was no need for questions. I am also sure that it is not because every angle and perspective on the issue was discussed that there was nothing left to discuss anymore. So is it because every member in the audience is overawed by the stature of the speaker? Is it a cultural issue? Is it because the participant does not want to look stupid? Or is it something else?

The stature of the speaker or the panel is most definitely a factor. But then this is the perception that you (as a member of the audience) bring to the potential interaction. Let me share a simple example; when I was in school, attending classes was mandatory from the perspective of my parents, teachers and peers. The teachers projected themselves as Gods of the subject and I considered them as such. I found it quite pointless to formulate a question, and even more pointless to muster the courage to ask the question. But all that changed when I was in college in the US. I was studying in a private university, working very hard as a Teaching Assistant and Lecturer to pay my tuition fees. I had chosen subjects and courses that were both relevant to my career, and of interest to me. I therefore had every reason to squeeze out every last drop of value from the classes and their teachers. My perceptions of and expectations from the institutions and teachers had changed. I would demand answers irrespective of the stature of the instructor or speaker.

My second question asks if the reticence to asking questions is a cultural phenomenon. It is true that people from some cultures may have more of this than others, and I have seen this to some extent in the US, India, Singapore, Malaysia, and other parts of the world. I don't think the cultural issue is a dominant one. No matter how dead the silence is after the discussion is completed, there is always a crowd around the speakers to ask question in person or create a connection for the future with the speaker.

The last reason for a person not wanting to ask a 'stupid' question makes the most sense to me. It is unbearable for your ego when people smirk upon hearing your question, or the respondent makes a critical remark about the question. This is what results in stage-fright; doing nothing to play it safe.

I should know. When I was about 10 years old, I was asked to read aloud an essay on some incident in my life. I nervously began reading my essay relating an incident where I was in a life-threatening situation and how my cousin helped me. When I got to the end of my essay, I was relieved but... I misread my last sentence. Instead of saying "... and so I owe him my life..", I said "... and so I owe him my wife..". The whole class, including my teacher burst out laughing. I vowed never open my mouth again in a large gathering. I had a severe case of stage-fright for several years after that.

How does this relate to our discussions on entrepreneurship? I was in Singapore and Malaysia last week. In the various meetings the common refrain was that the entrepreneurs were very shy and did not ask questions.

MentorSquare plays an important role for entrepreneurs looking to build world-class companies. Their learning and success in doing so is largely a function of the initiative taken by entrepreneur to observe, listen, question and therefore, learn. The horsepower for the interaction is provided by the hunger (or desperation) of the entrepreneur to succeed. It is important to have experienced advisors engaging entrepreneurs, challenging their assumptions, throwing light on new areas of knowledge and connecting them to the ground realities of a global market. If the entrepreneur can shed his or her stage-fright and engage boldly with the community of Mentors and Members in MentorSquare, they will come out winners all the time. The best part of it is that your conversations with our Mentors are in secure channels, and no one else will know whether you are asking smart questions or stupid ones!

Our Mentors are also very mature people, and will take the trouble to understand your true motivation in asking the question, and will respond in the correct context. No question is too small, trivial or irrelevant for them. I therefore urge you to question our Mentors on any and all subjects, and to any degree of depth, with the assurance that you will receive a considered as well as considerate response.

Before I sign-off, a thought for your consideration: Had I not gotten over my stage-fright, I would not be here talking to you about MentorSquare, let alone reveal an embarrassing incident in my life!

Bouquets and brickbats welcome at ravi.narayan@mentorsquare.com